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Wednesday, July 27, 2011

Costumes and Auditions

There are a many different opinions out there about audition etiquette, so please understand that this is only my personal opinion.

One of those things that drives me absolutely crazy as a casting director is when people show up in costumes. I have a physical reaction to actors in cop uniforms in particular – in a bad way. Plus I’m pretty sure it’s illegal to impersonate an officer of the law. And why on earth do you have a cop uniform anyway? Did you go out and rent it for the audition? These are the things I think about while I’m supposed to be watching your performance. 

On the other hand, I do think an implied wardrobe is a good thing. For example: if you’re reading for a lawyer, by all means don't wear ripped jeans, wear a nice button down shirt or a suit. 

But please, for the love of God, don’t wear a gimmicky costume with a badge and a billy club! Or spurs! Especially don’t wear spurs! Do you want me to look at your face or your feet? 

I worked on Deadwood. You can’t imagine the getup some of those people came in wearing. Especially for the female roles (for those of you who didn't watch the show, most of the female roles were prostitutes). We had one session in particular where I couldn’t imagine what people in the surrounding offices thought we were up to. At one point the producers asked us to see if some of the girls had normal clothes because the costumes were distracting. I had to reschedule people because they didn’t have any other clothes with them and then I couldn’t stop thinking about what would happen if they had car trouble and ended up being arrested for solicitation.

Monday, July 25, 2011

Village People Headshots

Looking through over a thousand submissions on a project the other day, I was reminded how much I can't stand it when actors wear costumes in their headshots. It drives me crazy! I hate it! It's one of those personal things for me. I call them "Village People Headshots". They're gimmicky and cheesy and they make me NOT want to call you in. They make me feel like you think I can't imagine what you might look like in a cop uniform, or a lab coat, or as a cowboy, or holding a gun. Guess what? Part of my job is to have an imagination. Plus headshots are expensive! Save your money. And don't even get me started on how many guys have shirtless headshots when we're casting a thug or a security guard, although I did enjoy the headshot I received of a shirtless man posing with a machine gun. But not in the way he intended. 

LESSON: Save the costumes for Halloween.

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Verbal Diarrhea

You finally get that big audition on that huge movie with that amazing director and you get so nervous that you can’t stop talking or you think you’ll try making jokes but you’re not necessarily funny or you forget to breathe as you prattle on and on about the parking and the traffic and… 

Look, learn to do whatever you need to do to center yourself before an audition. Breathing exercises, splashing cold water on your face, meditation, listening to music, etc. I even know one actor that does yoga poses in the waiting room – one time I went to get him and he was in a headstand, but hey, if that works for him, great! Learn to find something that helps you control any possible nervous verbal diarrhea that might come pouring out of your mouth. I swear you’ll thank me for it when you finally audition for that amazing dream director and you don’t decide to tell him you, a beautiful woman, practically have a penis. (see previous post)

Monday, July 18, 2011

Shut your mouth.

I was working on a comedy series recently and a fairly famous actress (no I won’t tell you who it was so don’t bother asking) came in to audition for one of the guest leads. In real life this actress is very much a tomboy, but the role she’s known for on a very popular series doesn’t necessarily show that she's a tomboy, just that she’s a good dramatic actress. However, she assumed that everyone in the room knew that she’s a tomboy and proceeded to tell us that she was shocked that we brought her in for the role of the hot, funny girl. She even went so far as to say, “I never get called in for the pretty girl. I’m such a guy. I practically have a penis.” Needless to say, the producers did not remember her audition – which was quite good and surprisingly funny – they could only imagine that she might actually have a penis. Because why else would she have said that? They just couldn’t get past it. Will I bring her in for auditions in the future? Yes, but you can bet that I will tell her agent to make sure she knows not to talk about her penis ever again. I kid. I can assure you she does not actually have a penis.

LESSON: Shut. Up. Before you talk yourself out of the job!

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

You Stink!

This goes along with my story from Monday. When we get roles that call for pretty girls, most of the time our waiting room ends up smelling like a cheep hooker. Do not, I repeat, DO NOT wear any perfume to an audition! You may think you smell nice but when all the vanilla and flowers get together in the waiting room they breed. The result is a cloud of stench that could be used as a torture tactic by Jack Bauer himself. And when the stench cloud makes its way into our offices or audition rooms, we become cranky casting monsters. You don't want to audition for cranky casting monsters, do you? And we just might turn our wrath on you even if you're only an innocent bystander wearing scent de la waiting room.

This is for you own good, people.

I worked for a casting director back in my assistant days who was very allergic to perfume. She would sneeze and her eyes would water and she would get mad at me for not telling the agents that actors are not to wear perfume around her (which I did, of course - they just didn't think it applied to them) and then she would make me send the actors away without auditioning. True story.

And don't try the "it's lotion" cop-out on us. We know.

Monday, July 11, 2011

Pretty, My Ass.


A colleague and I were working on a half-hour comedy and we had this little co-star role that called for a very pretty girl that would make our middle-aged male leads tongue-tied. We read many, many pretty girls for the role but one really stuck in my mind. And not in a good way. She finished her audition. We asked her to try it a different way. She did. Then she turned to leave and her shirt (dress?) did not cover her ass cheeks! All I remember was her ass. Not her name. Not her face. Certainly not her performance. I recall looking over at my colleague like “did I see what I think I saw?” as she walked out the door. We were completely and utterly speechless. Needless to say, she did not get the role.

LESSON: There is never, never, never any reason to show us your ass! I don’t care how nice it is, I don’t want to see it in an audition. Period.

Friday, July 8, 2011

This is new/scary/fun! (did I say scary?)

This little blog thing something I have been mulling around for a very long while. Today I got the push I needed to go ahead and give it a whirl.

I have been working in casting for film and television for a little over twelve years. I've had the privilege to work with some seriously amazing people along the way and some seriously not-so-amazing people (oh the stories I can tell). But the thing I love most about this job is that A) I get to meet lots of cool/fun/interesting/CRAZY/funny actors and help them realize their dreams. There's nothing better than seeing an actor on set after you've hired them and how excited and grateful they are. Especially when they're just starting out. I love that. And B) it allows me the free time between jobs to write and dance until my heart's content.

I will share anecdotes of my experiences and advice. Lots and lots of advice. Please ask questions! There are no stupid questions. The stupid thing is NOT to ask!